Our relationships have the capacity to make us incredibly happy, sad or
simply very confused!

Good working relationships are at the heart of any successful life.
All social interactions rely on communication and it is through
communication that we develop trust and integrity between
individuals.  The development of relationships, therefore, relies
on developing a sense of mutual trust between two individuals. The
best way to do this is to create a rapport, a connection.  Before
you expect others to listen to you it is important that they feel
comfortable and relaxed in your presence. This should be the case
with all people in all situations, from friends to the local shop
assistant.

Why should you do this? Because being a good communicator should be
a way of life and not a tap that you just switch off and on at a
given moment. Being an effective communicator requires consistency
in your habits and behaviours. It is hard to make something natural
if you are not doing it all the time. Be a good communicator as
much as possible and eventually it will become part of your habits.

In our working relationships being able to communicate well is
essential for creating the all important first impression. You may
not realise this, but the judgements we form of someone in the
first ten to fifteen seconds of meeting them are the most important
in terms of the attitude they take towards us. If you want to make
a good impression in business then getting respect in the first ten
to fifteen seconds is crucial for success.

It is important to distinguish between mutual respect and liking
someone. It is not always necessary to like the person you are
talking to in order to develop a good line of communication. In
business it is more important to be mutually respectful with one
another rather than trying to be one another’s best friend. In
fact, trying to be like a friend could actually prove counter
productive. It can make you appear to be insincere rather than
honest and open.

So where do we begin if we want to heighten our communication
skills? Well, first of all let’s think about what makes a good
conversation. A good conversation should be a two way process
between two individuals who have made a connection with one
another.  The way to tell whether this connection has been
established or not, is when you experience a sense of trust and
respect with another person.  This process is initiative – it
should feel right – that is the way to tell.

Think of the signals you make towards someone you feel comfortable
with. Your body language is likely to be honest and open. You are
likely to make eye contact. Your tone of voice will probably be
calm and relaxed. Contrast this with the way you are with someone
you feel less comfortable around.  Once you have identified the
behaviours you exhibit when you are comfortable around someone
think about how you can include these in all your dealings with
people.

The way we interact with others is shaped by a variety of
influences. Among these are the places and people you spend your
time with, the way you look – and just as importantly – the way you
feel that you look.  Your own self esteem plays a large part in the
interactions you make with others. It is no coincidence that the
people most at ease in conversation are those people who have the
confidence and belief in themselves.

Your value systems and beliefs inform much of your decision making
so it is no surprise to hear that they are also critical in your
interactions with people. If you are naturally suspicious of other
people then do not be surprised to find that you too are seen as
untrustworthy. Why? Because you are more likely to act in a way
that discourages others from trusting you.  So, therefore, an open
mind to others is important in sending out the right signals of
trust and honesty.

Experts on relationship building all agree on one thing. It is
possible to become an expert communicator by learning how to adapt
your body language signals according to the individual you are
communicating with.  We call this following body language cues.
Simple things like breathing in unison and adopting a similar body
stance and posture are important in reassuring the other person on
the subconscious level.

Similarly with verbal communication – adopt a similar tone of voice
and rhythm to your speech. Remember, however, that this should be a
subtle incorporation rather than an impersonation.

 

 

 

Advertisement